Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Discovering Happiness - Day 2

I was pleasantly surprised to weigh myself this morning and find I was 10 pounds less than what I thought and less than where I ended my previous cleanse (Advocare 10 Day) a couple months ago! The measurements are always a crapshoot because I never remember or get EXACTLY where I took them before. Last cleanse I actually gained around 3 inches in my midsection, which made no sense. I gave myself some sort of idea where I should measure for day 21.
I'm excited to have gone grocery shopping, though I realized that I probably should have gone ahead and gotten some of Thurs-Sundays since tomorrow is Wednesday. I also realized that I got a lot of the foods for items on Mon and Tues, which are already over. Here's hoping I can use some of them in the next batch! I'm sure the herbs will come in handy. I didn't get all organic. I shop at Sprouts, which is a commercialized farmers market. They have a selection of organic, but not that big and the deals are in the regular items. I walked out of there spending $60 on all the food (minus an avocado, orange, and one or two other items that I knew I didn't need). Pretty sure I could have gotten the herbs cheaper elsewhere, but I'll learn! There's also some items that will last me awhile, such as the olive oil and dates. 
Day 2 Happiness Exercise: Carving Out Time for Thinking

I give myself time to think in the car, usually. I dislike listening to the radio because it's just the same songs over and over and the commercials are irritating. So, I'll either switch it off completely, or listen to audio books. I tend to do books on the way to work and silence on the ride home.
Today I realized that my mind was kind of all over the place. I kept having thoughts, but they weren't full thoughts. My mind would race with these things and never complete. 
One of my big thinkers today was trying to fit it all in. There's not enough time in the day! I have no idea how I'm supposed to do yoga, meditate, go for a walk, and get ready for the day before work. Then, after work, finish up 3 journal/blog entries, make dinner, make up lunch for the next day, exercise, do something creative, and read before going to bed. There's even some more items I'd like to do "daily"! I think if I wake up around 5, I can get the morning ritual done. The evenings are going to be rough, though. Maybe not with renewed energy from this lifestyle change? One can hope! 

Day 2 Journal Exercise: Facing our Fears...
I am sure I have a ton of fears, little ones, big ones. I'm sure they all add up to blocking my full potential. I have a fear of failing; failing to meet others expectations, failing to finish what I've started, failing to make something of myself. I fear disappointing people (a whole lot, actually). I fear losing friends (for whatever reason I want everyone to love me). I fear being alone. I fear settling down. I fear being stuck in a rut. I fear being tied down (relationship and location). 

I've been learning to live day by day and just take it as it comes, but it's hard not to think about the future and how I'm not doing this, getting there, making something of myself, or heck, even being as good as the others around me. It's hard to shift my mentality and I'm sure I'll be working on it until the day I die, but at least I realize this and can slowly make that transition. As for the other fears...well. I have no idea how to get past THOSE just yet, but listing them out really helps!

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